Laura in CyberLand: November 2009

Or do you only date White People?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

A family reunion on my mom's side of the family just passed last week, when some of my relatives were passing through town. I had a meeting which prevented me from attending the beginning of the event, so I arrive to find a giant circle of Chinese people sitting tightly around a humongous table, except for a single chair which awaits a last person to arrive.

"Laura is here!" chants a chorus of voices as I approach the table, the anticipated last guest. I move to sit down and eat, but am interrupted while still standing.

"My husband wants to set you up on a date with his coworker." I look to my right, where my 40yr old cousin is sitting with her husband and three kids, all looking up at me excitedly. "Want to go on a blind date?"

Dozens more eyes fall on me -- the chorus of Chinese immigrants, children, relatives, and strangers eagerly await a reply. The room is completely silent. "Uhh..." I stand paralyzed, knowing that I have been keeping my dating life private from my family for years, so as not to be interrogated about my relationships. Clearly, this is backfiring.

"Actually," my cousin continues, noticing my paralysis and second guessing herself. "Do you date Chinese guys? Or do you only date White People?"

This does not decrease the level of interest expressed by the Chinese chorus. I stand there stunned with a thousand eyes judging my character based on the premise of this question, and my lack of audible words. The moment lasts only a few seconds I'm sure, but trust me, it feels like an eternity.

¶ 4:32 PM 1 comments

Torture

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's been consuming me.

"It" is of course, a book about how to write catchy leads for magazine articles. The book is filled with the best of the best -- leads that grab you, pull you in, have you dying to find out why the guy kills himself, how the treasure chest is found, or where the bad guys will dump the body.

Then, it goes on to analyze what is so wonderful about the lead instead of telling you how the murder is solved. Torture! I fully expect this author to produce a DVD titled "The Best First Halves of Movies."

¶ 12:10 PM 0 comments

Inhibit Your Ability To Ride Simulators

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Someone I know (whose identity I will protect considering the extreme embarrassment of this blog entry) sent me an invitation to an official Star Trek event. Some excerpts:

STAR TREK: THE EXHIBITION
Transport into parallel universes of the past and future!
* The actual shooting model for the Borg Cube, as seen on Star Trek
* A chance to ride through a Star Trek adventure in a full-motion flight simulator (extra fee)
* And lots, lots more!

My favorite part:

We encourage costumes but for the safety of you and our other guests and employees please abide by the following guidelines:
1. No masks.
2. Elaborate costuming may inhibit your ability to ride simulators.
3. No weapons. Phasers, shields or any other accessory that may be perceived as a safety concern in any galaxy by any species is prohibited and must be left in your space shuttles.

Maybe with some friends and a six pack, I'll just go sit in front of the place, to get a glimpse of the attendees.

¶ 11:36 AM 0 comments

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