Twitterpated
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Having a crush makes me into a moron.Having completed multiple successful dates with Interview Guy, I find myself unable to do anything productive, distracted by the extremely-important task of wondering what he may be doing at the moment, as if I have any clue whatsoever. This is followed by re-reading emails he has sent me over again looking for any hint about how he may feel about me (finding none), brainstorming up clever next-date conversation topics & jokes, and frustrating over the fact that he has not written me back yet.
I follow up on this brilliant use of time by writing my new jokes up in an email to him, which I edit repeatedly. I then save the email, go back to edit again, and after a few more revisions... delete the email entirely.
Clearly, the beginning of a successful and beautiful relationship.
Manliness proven.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
On our way to a camping trip this weekend, a friend purchased a Swiss army knife with... not twelve standard functions, but with a bonus thirteenth function: a saw.
During the trip, therefore, I was required to wait patiently as said friend partook in a number of extremely slow and painstaking saw-based activities, given the miniscule size of a Swiss-army-knife saw:- Cutting firewood pieces that were already small enough for the fire pit
- Creating a cutting board from a log even though we didn't have anything to cut
- Making kindling after we already had a fire
- Cutting and packing up pieces of wood to bring home
When you are participating in your manliness-proving activity, are people waiting for you to finish so they can move on to practical and relevant tasks?
Well if that is the case, I have good news for you! Your manliness is fine as is! In fact, in this special scenario, I roll my eyes to indicate that "you are so strong and powerful." And arm folding is a sign that "I am so overwhelmed by your giant throbbing manliness, that we don't even have to finish this task! We can move on to normal things! Like now."
It was a great camping trip.
It was a great camping trip.
Caught
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
A conversation from today:J: Are you dressed up? What's with the earrings?I already wore my one turtleneck through yesterday's super-hot weather. (As if that isn't a dead giveaway for I-have-a-giant-hicky-to-hide already.)
Me: Uh, they are distracting people from the giant hickey on my neck.
J: Ah! Not very well though.
What am I supposed to do today? Wear the same turtleneck again?
