Stupid but cute
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
"You met him where!?"Friends look at me incredulously when I tell them that I'm going on a date with a guy that interviewed me for a job this winter. "He seems nice," I explain.
They shake their heads, and then continue, confused.
"Uh... Did they hire you?"
"No! I'm not dating my coworker!"
"So... you're dating a guy who thinks your lazy and stupid and unworthy of a job?"
I roll my eyes.
"Of course not! He thinks I'm lazy and stupid and unworthy of a job... and cute."
Duh!
Wisdom
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
"So when did you lose your virginity?"I just moved into a house in Palo Alto, only to discover that most of my roommates are rather young. Like, last-year-they-were-living-in-the-dorms young. I get stuck in a lot of conversations about sorority girls and frat parties, dorm housing, and other things I fail to relate to. I didn't realize, however, that I was going to get asked about my sexual history.
"Um," I said, to buy time as I searched the dust-filled attic of my geezer brain, unable to recall the first time I slept with somebody. "Over ten years ago?" I ventured with uncertainty.
I vaguely remember days when virginity seemed to matter. Over the years, however, the interesting question has changed from 'when' to 'how many.' And by this point in my geezer life... that gets hard to keep track of.
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Advice for youngsters:
As the wise house elder, I like to impart wisdom on my little roommie proteges, as they are so innocent and unknowing. "Drink this beer!" I demand, shoving alcohol into their youthful hands. "You won't recover well from binging when you're 29. So drink your alcohol NOW!" No one slacks on their drinking chores in my house.
Growing up
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
15yr olds look forward to turning 16.20yr olds dream of 21.
I, being the old geezer I am, look forward to being a Cougar.
Having asked around, the general consensus is that a Cougar is over 40. This is a disappointment, because it is a long way off. People say I can be a "puma" starting at a younger age, but I prefer to wait for the real title, instead of taking the shortcut.
That said, I see being a Cougar as a duty. In much the way people depend on each of us to live up to our potential in math or science or music, to contribute to society in the most beneficial way possible, I figure that as a baby-faced asian chick, I'm obligated to hit on 20yr olds when I'm an old lady. It's an important job, and who else is going to do it?
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Also, guess what. I haved moved in! To an actual place! That's right, rent, roommates, furniture, the whole thing. Come marvel at the impossible... I'm in Palo Alto :)
