Conversations at Work
Sunday, April 29, 2007
"Hey CFO, can we order some pizza today? Pllleeeeeaaaasse?" I usually bat my eyelashes a little bit, in hopes of increasing my chances.If really desperate, I bring the stuffed lobster that I keep on my desk, because I know CFO likes the lobster and stuffed animals are REALLY GOOD at making big, please-help-me eyes.
In this case, CFO usually takes the lobster by the claws and starts animating him.
"Hi Laura," he begins, using his high-pitched voice that is somehow supposed to represent a lobster-voice. He waves the little lobster claws around to show me that it is the lobster that is supposedly talking, not CFO. "I really love butter and pliers!"
We are a very serious office.
That said, a recent occurence with potential for drama:
Got drunk with a co-worker Friday. Then, without any explanation, woke up next to him on a couch the next morning, in some random guy's living room. Fully clothed, yet somehow, still skanky.
Also, co-worker snores. A lot.
Be All, End All
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I'm in love. It's a good thing. In the past couple months, I've been through a lot. I've been ignored by guys that I've persued, and ignored quite a few myself. I had a crush on a roommate before learning that he was screwing my other roommate, in a relationship that made me weary. I slept with a guy who dumped me, dumped a guy I liked, and got mad at one for stalking me even though he says he wasn't. It's been quite eventful, and now it's all going to be over once I find this wonderful man.
He's the beatboxing flute player. And the coolest thing since Ice Ice Baby.
I wonder if he'll like me.
Come Again?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Last weekend, a friend of mine was stressing about his job. He has a big deadline in two weeks and has been working 90hrs a week, trying to make the due date. I felt bad for him and asked him what kind of project could work its employees so rigoriously. "I have to draw Optimus Prime fighting Megatron."
"Wait... what?" I was confused.
"Optimus Prime. He fights Megatron."
I knew that my friend worked on movies, but I never really thought about what that meant. Apparently, his current project is to draw the climactic scene in this summer's Trasformers movie, where Optimus Prime and Megatron finally face off. And all this time, I thought he was just some normal guy who worked a lot.
After learning this, I listened more intentely to his story. And considered sleeping with him.
Earning the Name
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The ex that ditched me at the party is called 'Paisley' because he got mad at me for making fun of his underwear. He used to wear tighty-whities in high school, but he didn't want people in college to know that he was such a geeky preppy. "So?"
I started laughing, and he got very angry.
"Why are you are so mean to me?"
Yikes. Sorry, it's a joke.
"You know what's the meanest thing about you?" he continued.
Apparently, calling me me 'mean' only once is not sufficient.
"You're going to go telling all your friends about my paisley underwear."
And you know what... he was right! Most of them don't even know his real name.
A Day at Work
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Goal: to install a wall-socket onto an electical box. 11:13am
Arrive at work. Make tea, chat with Julia, eat cereal.
11:44am
Enter lab, inspect sockets. Decide to remove screw in middle of socket.
11:58am
Begin search for screwdriver. Find flathead screwdriver, but realize that the screw is a philips. Get annoyed, continue searching.
12:10pm
Locate ridiculously small philips screwdriver. Feel increasingly frustrated. Force little tiny screwdriver to work by pushing screwdriver really hard into screw. Feel accomplished for having done something.
12:12pm
Leave for extended lunch break.
Any day now, cold fusion will be an applicable source of abundant, clean energy. I should ask for a raise.
