The Roomate Listings.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tyler St, Berkeley -- Laura finally takes the time to explain at least one aspect of her current life in this crazy city. 
Ok, i'm not going to lie to myself and pretend that i really care to write a big long column, so i'll keep this post about my roomates to the point. In my last column, i wrote a couple of lines that were intented to mock the people i live with in a very candid manner, but then i realized that i have never really written anything about my roommates in the past, so the mocking might have gotten overlooked. Well, i intend to fix that problem right now. My roommates are a big part of my life right now, and they are altogether pretty great.
ASTRID
Age: 25
Ethnicity: born in Romania.
Occupation: supervisor for Wells Fargo call center
Personality: ENFP, 7.
Gossip code names: "my devil roommate," "the party roommate," "tazmanian devil woman."
Astrid drives a red convertible. She likes to drink, she likes to smoke, and she like to party. Astrid has just recently broken up with her 7th boyfriend since moving into the house this January. Our house is beautifully decorated, due to the quanitity of flowers she receives. Having Astrid as a roommate is the best and worst things that has happened for me in a long time. When she came home from Italy two weeks ago, she brought me back a bottle of liquor, three kinds of perfume, and several pieces of lingerie. (or should i say strings with some lace attached..?) Let's just say that she's a good invite for your next party.
JOSH
Age: 24
Ethnicity: hoppa
Occupation: programmer for HotOrNot.com
Personality: INTP, 5.
Gossip code names: "my drama roommate," "the asian jew," "mighty morphin photo arranger"
Josh doesn't say much, but he thinks he's pretty darned cool. He wears leather jackets, rides motorcycles, and works in an office with 6 dorky asian programmer guys. He also thinks that it's acceptable to date me despite the fact that i live in his house. This is true, but only until I meet Mr Oober Hot Breakdancer Man With Lots of Money. (at which point the roommate situation may unexpectedly become a problem, and I will be forced to become suddenly single and available.) When i complained to Josh that he isn't very romantic, he attempted to ameliorate the problem by purchasing me a tube of Aquafresh Triple Protection toothpaste. Let's just say that he does not have the fortune of witnessing me in any strings with lace attached.
SEPH
Age: 24
Ethnicity: white.
Occupation: works for UC admissions office. (should get lots of bribes)
Personality: ESTJ, 1.
Gossipe code names: "martha stewart."
Seph always does things right... until you know him better. He takes out the trash every tuesday, his room is sparkling clean, and he refers to hanging out with his old friends as "doing community service." He has a really cool girlfriend that reminds me of Sam, and makes a sweet innocent first-impression, but has dark sense of humor and black tatoo around her arm. Seph is incapable of not being constantly productive, and has a weird habit of brushing his teeth several times a day. Although he has never had a cavity, he once had to have surgery to replace the gums on his teeth after literally brushing them away.
If you would like to meet any of the above persons, feel free to contact us at
laura'sroommatesareriduculous.com. (a non-existant website) Thank you for your interest, we hope to hear from you soon.
