Excuses, Excuses
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
BERKELEY -- Laura slacks off on writing columns for her blog
Do you have any idea how long it takes to write a funny blog entry? Well, it takes a while. At least for me. I guess it's not all that much of a problem, but I'm having trouble finding good things to write about. Of course, there are always things about berkeley just BEGGING to be made fun of, but it's just too easy. And work life is so simple, it just doesn't provide me with much material. Sigh, I've become a total blob of a loser, and the Laura-shaped imprint of me lying around on the couch is becoming more and more defined. (maybe i could pour cement in it and make a mold of myself) I attempted to push off the responsibility of writing any blog entries by giving janie permission to write something for me. It didn't work though... janie is slacking too.
Anyway, this is a photograph that Babak took of me, John Nichols, and Sarah Jones at Muir graduation. I don't get pictures of me put up on the web very often, so i am very proud and am putting it in my blog, potentially doubling the number of pictures of me on the web. It is also a cheap and easy way to give this boring column a little excitement. Graduation day was one of the best in my life. Rumor has it that i did a drunken cartwheel on the stage and lost my hat twice. I believe that day may have been the first of many fun days that marked the beginning of summer.
Dealing with Dating
Thursday, September 16, 2004
THURSDAY - Laura receives clinical diagnosis of acute dating impairment disorder.
One of my least successful dates of all time involves a boy that we'll call "Patrick" in this column, since the little quotes imply that his real name is something other than Patrick. I met "Patrick" at a frat party (dumb idea) while in a state of mind that that we'll call "slightly inebriated." (This is a state of mind that some people suffer from sporadically while in their early twenties, or during the super bowl. It is curable by a good night's sleep and a few handfuls of advil.) Anyway, i was inebriated and Patrick was really (REALY) hot, so i went to talk to him and we made a lunch date. Generally speaking, a date with a beautiful person is a really nice thing. But there are exceptions. Like this one. Let's just say that i could have had a more intellectually stimulating lunch hour had i spent it conversing my Wendy's baked potato, which I believe to have had a significantly superior IQ compared to my date. But really... all in all, after the lunch was over, i felt really happy for "Patrick" that he was such a physically attractive person. Those looks have carried his genetics through the filter of evolution. Otherwise he'd have gotten his ass Darwin-ed out like a fat kid in a game of dodgeball. I don't regret going on that date though. I only wish i had taken a photo...
The interesting thing about dating is that although dates with guys like "Patrick" aren't exactly successful, the unsuccessful dates aren't even the worst kind. The worst kind of date is the date where you didn't even know you were on a date in the first place. C'mon girls, you know what i'm talking about. You and some guy that you kinda know decide to go eat smoothies as a study break and then he goes and pays for your damn smoothie. What are you supposed to do when this happens? ("Excuse me, have you purchased this 24 ounces of Hanna Banana in an attempt to woo me into future romances?") Last time i found myself on one of these trick-dates i got all ambitious and tried to stop it before it happened. When he said that he was hungy and that we should go get something to eat, i tried to bypass the possible-romantic meal by claiming this huge craving for pizza from this one place that has no tables, no chairs, not even stools. At Mr Pizza, you hold your pizza in your two hands, and you STAND while you eat. Of course, i failed to have a back-up plan in case he decided that he didn't want pizza. And saying that you don't want pizza is so easy! This isn't fair, guys. We girls don't like getting duped into dates that are sneakily disguised as casual, everyday activities. We put a lot of effort into finding pizza places with no chairs and when we say that we're craving Mr Pizza, you should pretend you want pizza too. And then when we get there, if you think you are gonna get the chance to purchase dinner for the two of us, go right ahead! We like free stuff :)
So anyway, am i dating impaired or something? These aren't the only unsuccessful dates i have been on, trust me. How have i tried this hard and been so unsuccessful. If you have any suggestions, dating stories, or similar frustrations, feel free to share. And please send me some advice... i don't want to eat my dinner standing up tonight.
Fusion
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
LAWRENCE BERKELEY LABORATORIES -- a job in intertial fusion.
As many of you already know, i have recently started a job working with fusion technology. It's all been going decently well, except that i'm completely and totally under-qualified for the job. Now, i know what you're thinking, "no that's not true, you're a perfectly competent girl." That's exactly what every person i've talked to about this problem has said to me. What they don't realize is that i didn't say that i was incompetent. What i said is that i'm an incompetent nuclear engineer. This is totally different. For example, last week LBNL asked me to make a 3D model of this superconducting ion-accelerator solenoid. After two entire days of CAD modelling, i discovered that i had modelled the entirely wrong superconducting solenoid. Somehow, i had clumsily mistaken the neutrino-accelerating solenoid for an ion-accelerating solenoid. Silly me, why didn't i read up on my nuclear accelerators.
Nuclear engineers aren't exactly the most exciting of people either. Let's just say that they don't go clubbing on the weekends or party as much as i your typical Berkeley resident. For example, last night i went to a nuclear engineering party on the Berkeley campus which consisted primarily of dorky-looking white guys in google t-shirts and bowl-cuts. Maybe i should have expected this, but still, it was what one might call "slightly under-stimulating." Looking for something a little different, i made my way over to this young-looking afrifan-american girl who was busy conversing with a couple of guys. She appeared pretty chill and rather social until i reached the group of people, at which point i realized that the conversation she in which she was passionately participating was about Sega RPG's and the reasons why they were better than Nintendo RPG's. Not only was this a little less exciting that i was hoping for, but i might also note that she's totally wrong: nintendo is better.
Sigh. As you might imagine from what i've said about berkeley, my work life and my home life are a stark contrast to one another. It's really hard to make communication between the two.
Roommate: "Hey Laura, how was work?"Hmm. I was originally gonna tell her about the solenoid modelling mistake that i had made earlier that day, but... nnaaahh.
Me: "Not exciting. I had to CAD model stuff for the lab all day."
Roommate: "Oh cool, did you get to wear a white lab coat?"
Me: "No, i wear my regular clothes."
