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El Cranium-o

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I get the worst gifts. People delight in this fact.
"What did you get this year?" They ask with a tinge of excitement.

"Well, this year it's red pumps."
They seem happy, so I continue. "Red sequins, 3-inch heels. Price tag reads $129.99." My mother always leaves the price tag so you know how much she spent on you. She doesn't mention that she bought them with a 50% off coupon.

The bad present streak started in 7th grade, when my mother gave me the hose attachment. Nothing says Happy Holidays like a water-saving yard tool, so my mother gave me a spray nozzle, screwed it onto her hose, and watered her plants.

It was quite funny for several years - high heels, flashlights, can opener - but two years ago, it started getting out of hand. On December 26, I was at a party with some friends when one of them asked about my gift that xmas. Before I even answered, several people had turned around excitedly, all with comments like "oh yeah!" "I want to know too!" and "I hope it's really funny this year!"

I had received a 12-inch tall porcelain cow with pink flowers painted on the sides. I left it on my mother's mantle, where it would never make contact with any of my belongings. My brother, who got a red and black painted gourd, was good and brought the gourd back to his place where he put in the closet.

My audience at the party was pleased with this answer, but I decided to put the streak to an end. The next year, I made my parents a Christmas list.

Laura's Christmas Request:
- Cranium the board game

A single, specific item. No colors to choose from, no makes or models. No mistakes. (No porcelain cow.)

So what did they get me for xmas, you wonder?
They got me Cranium! In Spanish!

"You need to just ask for cash," Kyra suggested this year. She paused for a moment,and frowned a little bit. "Specify American dollars."  ¶ 11:35 PM 2 comments