page 1A

---

Stinky no more

---

One week ago today -- I had a fart coming on. Being the passenger in a car, I decided to roll down the window in preparation for the fart, hoping to minimize damage.

Thirty seconds later, "Eew, was that you!?" shrieked the driver, as he rolled down the window for self-preservation.

In light of this recent occurence, I have decided that I should consider a diet that keeps my farting (and fart stinkiness) to a minimum. As an experimental scientist, I have chosen some variables to change and have begun to test them while holding other things constant. Beginning with suspicious foods to avoid:

Beans
Lentils
Milk
Cheese
Eggs

And adding possible helper foods:
Yogurt
Ginger
Lots of water

I finish off with my very own Good Digestion Exercise Routine. I figure that sitting at a desk all day does not get the food in my gut moving around properly. That is why every day, I am commited to 3 full minutes of abdominal stretches, three times daily. (like hoola-hooping, or maybe belly dancing) The theory being, that this will keep things in my stomach movings around.

Will it work? I'll keep you updated. (So far my farts are still stinky.)  ¶ 6:11 PM