Staying on Track
Thursday, December 08, 2011
As an almost-30 year old, on the verge of a significant decade marker in life, I contemplate my progress through life quite frequently. What am I supposed to be doing? Am I succeeding? Why haven't I become a trophy wife yet?To address these important questions, I constructed 
a long-term plan that will keep me on track. Starting this weekend!
a long-term plan that will keep me on track. Starting this weekend![1] In Vegas: Marry rich old dude this weekend, while still a qualified youthful 20-something. Then... be rich! Drink champagne! Try eating "foie gras." Fly on personal jet plane at least once.[2] Mid-term: Make (or purchase?) a Little Laura or two. Get divorced and lose custody, so I only have to watch the kids once a month. Use Little Laura(s) to see cute kid movies, without people at the theater thinking I'm a weirdo.[3] Long-term: Invest hard-earned divorce $ on a face-lift, and white Jaguar convertible. Be a hot cougar! If Little Laura(s) grow out of kid movies, simply replace them with similarly-aged young men.
