page 1A

---

My alcoholic holiday

---

Like many of us, I often receive xmas gifts that are not exactly useful. Long-time blog readers may recall that my family is exceptionally gift-impaired (umm, a hose attachment? For Christmas??) and that I have tried a number of strategies to address the problem, listed below in increasing levels of desperation
1. Making a list of things I want
2. Emailing links to exact items I want on Amazon
3. Asking to receive one specific item and nothing else
4. Asking not to receive presents at all. (Sad, I know. No, none of the strategies worked.)

Having seen no success with any these attempts, I was feeling a bit demoralized... until I finally realized something that should have been so obvious all along: alcohol.

I bought wine for my parents and beer for my brother, making the gift-purchasing process quite painless, considering. In return, they got me
(1) liquor
(2) a pair of socks
(3) liquor
(4) more liquor.

Yup. Multiple-hundreds of dollars worth of liquor. Maybe it's not as good as, say, the backpack I sent the Amazon link for, but hey, at least it's not a cow statue. And, goddammit... this xmas gift is going to get used.   ¶ 1:05 PM