Illegal Immigration
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
I sent out text messages that said "Goodbye USA, hello beavers and hockey fans" to friends, as Sean and I approached the Canadian border. Instead of crossing into Canada, however, I found myself answering an absurdly long string of random questions for the border patrol.
BP: Is that your car?
Me: Yes.
BP: Do you rent or own your place in the USA?
Me: I rent.
BP: How much money do you have with you?
Me: I dunno, $150 maybe.
BP: Do you, or have you ever used narcotics?
Me: Uhh, Tylenol-3 is a narcotic.
I couldn't help but laugh, and moments later, I was being searched by two guards standing on either side of me, who confiscated my cell phone, passport and ID. I was put in a waiting room while they searched the vehicle. Over the next hour and a half, I imagined them and their drug-sniffing dogs (they really had drug sniffing dogs) going through every little nook and cranny, wondering who the hell packed all this stuff. Finally, the guy came back. "How much money to do you have access to in the states?"
I was about to speak, but Sean quickly responded with a much larger number that I expected. I looked at him incredulously -- I really had no idea he had all this cash -- and no doubt confirmed the guy's suspicions that we were completely making up everything we said.
Border Patrol left again and returned with forms titled "Allowed To Leave Canada," which we had to sign "voluntarily" or be detained. Apparently the immigrations officer did not trust that we would leave Canada after entering, citing the his reason for suspicion as the bed in the back of the Subaru.
An attempt from Sean to explain the irrational dangers of sleeping outside only resulted in more incredulity from the officers, followed by threats to put us in jail. Fair enough, I figured... how many people with enough money to stay in actual hotels sleep in the trunk of their car to evade a fear of outdoor sleeping?
In the end we were denied entrance to Canada, and we re-entered the US with frustration and disgust. Seriously, to accuse us -- people from beautiful warm desirable California -- of wanting to sneak into freezing cold wanna-be America? And then insinuating that this would be crime, and not a compliment? Talk about insulting.
Comments:
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LOL. We Canadians take our boarder patrol seriously. I think the last paragraph of your post is the exact reason you got turned around.
Sorry to hear about it. Try a different boarder crossing, but also try to subdue your huge ego for at least a few minutes. :)
Sorry to hear about it. Try a different boarder crossing, but also try to subdue your huge ego for at least a few minutes. :)
Citizenship?
United States. Not "American".
That was the Q&D I got for re-entry from Mexico.
On the other hand, in February 2001, my then-girlfriend entered Canada without a passport.. her "winning smile" was enough for the BP at Vancouver. Luckily enough for both of us.
Amazing how much bolder she was with the border-crossing and airplane jokes that August WITH a passport.
Glad you're still more-or-less on track with your trip!
AQ
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United States. Not "American".
That was the Q&D I got for re-entry from Mexico.
On the other hand, in February 2001, my then-girlfriend entered Canada without a passport.. her "winning smile" was enough for the BP at Vancouver. Luckily enough for both of us.
Amazing how much bolder she was with the border-crossing and airplane jokes that August WITH a passport.
Glad you're still more-or-less on track with your trip!
AQ
# posted by 
: 2:46 AM
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