page 1A

---

Je Suis Loser

---

Road trips – a three-part pattern of Laura's forgetful footware.
When I go camping, I get stressed out. Not because camping is stressful, but because I'm so bad at packing. Going to a friend's place only requires a couple pairs of underwear and a toothbrush, since it’s a little awkward to borrow those things. I have managed to forget both those basic necessities at one time or another, but overall, it helps to keep things simple.

Camping, on the other hand, is not easy. A toothbrush won’t keep you warm when it's cold outside and neither will underwear if it’s normal cotton undies like the ones I usually wear. So when I go camping, I run into difficulties. Yosemite was my first camping destination this summer, and I planned the trip with the specific intention of hiking to the top of Half Dome. I stressed for a whole day, packing this and that, making detailed lists, worrying that I would forget or lose my towels and blankets or food and dishes. Of course, after we make the four hour drive to the park, we set up camp with no tent poles missing, clothes in abundance, and plenty of food to last the weekend. All seemed to be well, when suddenly, something (seemingly obvious but I’m an idiot) dawns on me: I am not wearing shoes.

I had gone all the way to Yosemite National Park with the intention of making a 20-mile hike, and I had worn my flip flops!? Brilliant move.

After that trip was over, I had learned my lesson and was determined not make this same mistake on my second camping trip. I figured that I couldn’t forget my shoes if I put them on before I started packing and put my flip flops in my backpack. It worked. Except for the fact that I forgot to put those flip flops into that backpack. Basically, I forgot one pair of shoes on my first trip, and my other pair of shoes on my second trip. Plus, the second trip was a fishing trip so the flip flops were more necessary than the shoes. Luck really wasn't coming my way and I was pretty annoyed with myself.

Needless to say, by the time I was readying for my third trip, I did NOT make any room for mistakes. For my 6-day road trip from the bay area up to British Columbia, I put both pairs of shoes in my backpack before packing, and I SUCCESSFULLY BROUGHT THEM BOTH!

For two whole days, I had the luxury of wearing whichever pair of shoes I wanted, until Brilliant move #3 came around, and I forgot my brand new $60 flip flops on the side of the road.
Brilliant move #3 indeed, and the realization that I am destined to have only one pair of shoes at my disposal at any given point in time.

Fortunately, Canadian things are cheap, so I got a rare knock-off Birkenstock called Ronsonstocks, which I found quite amusing. On my most recent camping trip, I decided that three Brilliant moves was enough, and I gave in to fate and left the pair of sandals at home.

	Swimming in Lake Shasta
Crater Lake National Park, Oregon.
	Cooking corn on the manifold! (A successful experiment, and the silliest part of the trip)
Spanking this guy on the streets of Vancouver, as instructed by a cardboard sign for his bachelor party. Gay marriage is legal in BC.
	Thetis Lake, outside of Victoria on Vancouver Island.
Olympia hotsprings, Olympic National Forest, Washington.

  ¶ 8:10 PM