Quarter Life Crisis: Justified
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Hell, CA -- Sorry, but my life hasn’t been very funny recently. I keep wanting to write something, but I don’t have anything humorous to say. Josh (Pedro) and I broke up a few weeks ago. It's bad enough as it is, without the fact that 'break up’ in this case is just a shorter way of saying ‘be upset all the time’ since we can’t actually be break away from each other. We live in the same place. I see him pretty much every day, which consistently makes me upset every day, and basically prevents me from doing anything productive. As long as this situation persists, I remain about as useful in my endeavors as a fat kid in a game of dodgeball. My counselor would say that I have a hard time dealing with break ups due to my “fear of abandonment,” but I feel that it is better explained using a broader description of a more general fear. Something like “fear of shitty situations” would do it.
Despite this, there are three months left on my lease here in Berkeley, which keeps me legally bound to this fabulous situation. And to make it better, just for fun, fate has decided to play a little prank on me about the living situation: I am so broke, that guess what... I can’t afford to pay rent anyway! As it is now, I have enough money left to cover my rent and food for about six more weeks... After that, I graduate to the rank of True Berkeley Resident. I’m even going to get the official Dread Locks to match my Cardboard Sign.
That being said, I am trying hard to fight this fate by finding a real income. I honestly can’t tell you how many resumes I’ve sent out to companies recently. Although, considering the number of responses I receive for my resumes, I also can’t tell you how many I’ve sent out to non-existent email addresses that have been posted on craigslist by bullies playing pranks on unemployed people like me. Despite this, I like to keep sending out my info anyways, as a sort of hobby to keep me occupied between sleeping and getting upset about seeing Josh. It’s a good way to kill time and self esteem with one stone. Go me.
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I'm sorry to hear things are not so good with you these days laura. Consider this an e-hug, and I'll give you a real one next time I see you. I'm facing a similar financial crunch to yours right now, acutally, but the breakup must be far more stressful. Give a call sometime if you want to talk about stuff.
-Clay
-Clay
# posted by 
: 11:35 PM
: 11:35 PM
hey email me back you ass. (sorry, i was hoping my meaness will cheer you up)
-andrew
-andrew
# posted by : 8:15 PM
: 8:15 PM
phil!! I think you gotta get out of the bay area. Do you still have any friends in San Diego? Maybe you can post resumes and stuff for companies down there too, and stay with a friend for a few days for an interview. Seriously, the job situation is much better in SoCal right now. >_<;
Lotsa love and luck!!
Lotsa love and luck!!
yo - i hope things are going ok for you...sorry about what happened.
anyway, i had you bookmarked from a loooong time ago (i think i got to your blog from peetie's page when she was still at stanford), and then i just rediscovered this bookmark today while going through my huge list...so yeah, long time no see/talk/etc =)
i've been doing pretty well...FINALLY graduating, and then i'm moving back to hong kong for a couple of years to maybe work for my dad or find a different job, and go from there...
well, was good to rediscover your journal, hope things work out in the long run =) send me an e-mail sometime... spoiledleftie@gmail
take care,
bernard
anyway, i had you bookmarked from a loooong time ago (i think i got to your blog from peetie's page when she was still at stanford), and then i just rediscovered this bookmark today while going through my huge list...so yeah, long time no see/talk/etc =)
i've been doing pretty well...FINALLY graduating, and then i'm moving back to hong kong for a couple of years to maybe work for my dad or find a different job, and go from there...
well, was good to rediscover your journal, hope things work out in the long run =) send me an e-mail sometime... spoiledleftie@gmail
take care,
bernard
# posted by : 11:08 PM
: 11:08 PM
Laura, you're just going about this the wrong way. In your situation, the key is to make sure HE has it a hell of a lot worse than YOU. You'll feel much better, I promise. Examples:
- you say to Josh, "you know, I could poison your breakfast cereal any time I wanted to" and then you just leave the house for work.
- get some fake blood and walk around with stigmata. Claim they are Josh-inflicted.
You get the idea. The ultimate goal, since you still have a lease, is to get him to give up his lease first. Or you could just do what I do - sublet your room and move back home. Parents are the new friends.
- you say to Josh, "you know, I could poison your breakfast cereal any time I wanted to" and then you just leave the house for work.
- get some fake blood and walk around with stigmata. Claim they are Josh-inflicted.
You get the idea. The ultimate goal, since you still have a lease, is to get him to give up his lease first. Or you could just do what I do - sublet your room and move back home. Parents are the new friends.
# posted by : 2:31 PM
: 2:31 PM
I thought of some more things you could try.
- Say "Josh, I know things have been rocky between us and I wanted to clear the air. I'm going to the shooting range with some friends. Would you like to come?" But what he doesn't know is that the targets at the range are actually POSTERS OF HIM.
- Put his address on the NAMBLA mailing list. (Google it.)
- Paint several pictures of Josh, with a couple sculptures for good measure. Take them to an art gallery. Douse everything with gasoline and light. Call it "Josh on fire." Charge for admission. Use the money you make to have metal jail-style bars installed on his bedroom door while he's asleep.
I'm so good at revenge. I wonder if I can do it professionally?
- Say "Josh, I know things have been rocky between us and I wanted to clear the air. I'm going to the shooting range with some friends. Would you like to come?" But what he doesn't know is that the targets at the range are actually POSTERS OF HIM.
- Put his address on the NAMBLA mailing list. (Google it.)
- Paint several pictures of Josh, with a couple sculptures for good measure. Take them to an art gallery. Douse everything with gasoline and light. Call it "Josh on fire." Charge for admission. Use the money you make to have metal jail-style bars installed on his bedroom door while he's asleep.
I'm so good at revenge. I wonder if I can do it professionally?
# posted by : 1:37 PM
: 1:37 PM
HAHA Thanks, Ryan. You are unmatched in your supportiveness. I'll be sure to contract you for my next revenge job. How about Thursday?
jk.
Also, I looked up 'NAMBLA.' That's disgusting.
jk.
Also, I looked up 'NAMBLA.' That's disgusting.
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But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?
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But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but because occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?
# posted by : 5:13 PM
: 5:13 PM<< Home
