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Crisis

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BARNES AND NOBLE - Offers advice to those in need.
Usually when i go to the book store, I flip through some of my usual interests, cook books, psych books, stuff about nutrition. I did this last sunday after sitting around all day feeling like I should leave the house. After some of my usual drooling over photos of indian recipes and reading about nutritional treatments for PMS moodswings, I found something that really caught my eye. Slightly embarrassed, I snagged a book from the shelf and crept into the back of the store where no one could see me reading it. The idea that my current life problems would qualify as a ‘crisis’ had never before occurred to me, but after I saw the title of this book, I felt that was about to change.

"How do I make friends after college?"
"Where do I look for a job that's right for me?"
"How can I tell if I'm in the right relationship?"

I greedily flipped through the contents of Quarter Life Crisis, expecting to find an answer to all my life's problems. In about ten minutes of a highly-alert, information-skimming panic, I had learned that it was not necessary for a relationship to have sparks if you do not feel it necessary to have sparks in your relationship. Crisis or no, I have no idea who in hell would be looking for this advice. I guess there was one time I caught my finger in an electrical outlet in my garage, but I hardly think of my moment with the outlet as a relationship. And even if I did, I did not feel it necessary to experience sparks with the wall at the time, so according to this book, the relationship in which we were involved wasn’t working anyway.

Nonetheless, there was plenty good advice in the book. For example, I am advised to keep on moving, even if I don’t know where I am headed. Plus, I know that I am not alone. There are plenty of other twenty somethings with no jobs who I can theoretically go drinking with this Monday morning, except for the fact that we won’t because we don’t know each other since none of us has friends. Plus, it’s not like I wake up in the morning anyway. Geez, did you know that this ‘morning’ thing only occurs before noon!? C’mon, it’s about time our society gets out of the stone ages and creates an equal-opportunity morning that is as accessible to the morning-impaired citizens of America as it is to Martha Stewart. I mean, I don’t know what time her alarm goes off, but if she makes her own doilies, has a tv show and still has time to rob people of money, then I estimate that she has at least eleven mornings per week.

Anyway, enough about Martha, this quarter life business is really a drag. And i just got out of my 3/16 life crisis too.  ¶ 11:18 PM